literature

Remembering in September

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bishop-myriel43's avatar
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Literature Text

I fled from you
a world away, and yet
I turn and I find
you, all around me.

You are the stars
smiling as I lay my head down
to rest; but there is no comfort
in your smile. Not anymore.

You are the wind,
the laughter singing in the breeze--
the silver sound that soared once
for and in spite of me.

You are the voice in my dreams:
the song in the silence I listened to,
that I wanted to turn from, though
each time I try, I fail.

You are . . .

You, it seems,
are the universe spinning above me
still.
"September 2013, Makati City"
-Place and date on the original copy

This is a form exercise, of some sort. I really don't like the free verse form because, ironically, to me it feels very constricting and artificial, though a lot of my friends are real naturals at it.

As a result, all their free verse poems sound really, really great, and all my free verse poems sound clunky and pretentious and wannabe-bourgeois (if that even makes any sense!) :XD:

What else can I say about this poem? It was partly inspired by Pablo Neruda who wrote some poems that could be characterized in Filipino as "sawi" or, I suppose in English we'd say "bitter." I'm not sure if I used the form properly but . . . that's it :D

Ad majorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem
Your brother in Christ,

:iconbishop-myriel43: bishop-myriel43
Comments3
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ZhaneAugustine's avatar
I really like this, good work